So, I sit here thinking about someone. This person, who shall remain nameless, is ummm, well, pissing me off. This person, who is a "friend" almost makes me want to vomit. Sometimes, I think she's right-on, and other times (most of the time), I think she's nothing more than a fucking leech on society. Don't misunderstand me, she does have a job. That's a plus. She's not completely sucking on the government tit. But, I think she's certainly "working" what systems she has available to manipulate.

I ranted previously about a "friend" who cheated on her baby-daddy with my ex (secretly). Oh yes, that ex of mine that forbid me to see his friends. Anyways, apparently the baby-daddy, (or more specifically baby-daddy #2) was cheating on her at the same time. So, they separated (for all of 4.5 months). I think it was the financial situation that led her back to the relationship. He actually loves her. Give her a year, she'll be back to her old ways. When they separated, things got tough financially. He moved out and she bought him out of their home. He wasn't out of the house for 2 months and she had herself financially strapped with new financial obligations - above and beyond her mortgage payment (which had doubled anyways.)

This friend regularly makes long distance calls from her workplace (which is funded by tax dollars) to her family, just to shoot the shit. We've recently gotten involved with a community-type organization, which is funded by the members. As we are new, we have been participating in training, whenever available. This crafty mofo has people writing receipts for childcare services (which they are NOT providing). Why would they do this? Because our group reimburses for childcare expenses when in training. This additional money is going into her pocket. I know we're not in training every day, not even every month; but the point is the same - she is taking away from the group as a whole. My $ is going into her pocket. And, that pisses me off. And so it should, it's theft. She has managed to max out every type of time off work (with pay) that is humanly possible. I don't mean vacations or anything of that nature. I mean booking a whole week worth appointments for your family, where no one is sick. Eye appointment for kid A - Monday morning. Dental appointment for her - Monday afternoon. Tues morning - dental appointment with kid B and so on. She'll use the "I'm sick line" for almost anything - to attend something at the kids' school - to make sure she doesn't lose the pay. And then she tells me about it. I don't have kids - mind you, if I did, I wouldn't use them as an excuse not to work. Especially when baby-daddy #2 has nothing to do (he works two 3 or 4 hour shifts a week - by choice.)

Oh right, I should also add, since she and baby-daddy # 2 have reconciled, they've gotten engaged AGAIN! And she had the gall to ask to me be a bridesmaid. And, they sold their house, rather her house, and bought a new one. A bigger one. One that neither of them can afford, should things not work out - brilliant I say! But then again, that shouldn't really be a factor when buying a house, now should it? Well, these are the things I think about. Terrible I know. I'm a realist. Fuck optimism and pessimism. I hope for the best, expect the worst, and try to be ready for anything in between. I think it's logical. You'll notice that about me, I'm logical. At least, my version of logic.

I feel kinda shitty crapping on this girl. Perhaps I'm being petty (oh, there's that word again) and should let it go. I'd like to. I'd also like to not have to talk to her every single day. I think she realized that today. My face can't hide my lack of interest in people any more. I can't be wasting my smiles. Every now and then, I forget that she's done these shitty things, and we laugh and have fun. Then, I'm reminded of deceit and theft, and I get less friendly. I become short, and snappy. And, I don't like that. I prefer to be my sick and twisted kinda funny (which doesn't get displayed here, cause I'm normally ranting) and can enjoy the company of others.

Another thing that kinda weirds me out...she has a tendency to mimic me. Every now and then I'll make a reference to something I really like (of course I can't think of any specifics as this exact moment) that she's never heard of/tried/listened to etc. and the next thing I know she's coming in either wearing an object of clothing depicting that item or started a group on facebook to talk about how much she loves the item or something else equally retarded and creepy. Perhaps I should be flattered. She has some excellent qualities - but I just can't seem to get over the bad stuff. I'd like to think I'm a grown-up and can think rationally. I have forgiven my ex for being a lying bastard - and we're hanging out again (simply as friends, nothing more - back to the way things were), so it's not like I can't let everything go. One day at a time I guess, just like the smokes.

A punch in the face

So, it's been a while. But, here I am. I can't say life has been dramatic as of late, but then again, I can't really say I've been doing a whole lot.

So, why am I writing today? Hrmmmmm. It's mainly because I don't want to talk to real people. I can't handle people right now. But, there's a reason for that. I'm trying to quit smoking, and I would say at this point, my body is not real impressed with the idea. I thought I'd never say I was addicted, but holy sweet fuck. It's funny, cause I've been thinking about quitting smoking for a while, and what was it that finally pushed me over the edge? A comment from a doctor at a walk-in clinic. So, I went to the walk-in clinic for a totally separate matter (no, it wasn't VD, assholes), and the doc tells me I have a beautiful smile, but my teeth are definitely showing signs of smoking. I am aware of this. I've been aware of this for some time. I'm sure my parents are quite impressed after spending $3500 on braces (in 1992 dollars) and of course countless dollars on dental visits over the years. I just can't justify paying hundreds of dollars to whiten them for the sake of a week. Based on the countless cups of coffee and diet pepsi that keep me going through the day, on top of the cigarettes, I figured what was the point. So, at least I'm making a conscious effort to reduce my intake of cigarettes and caffeine. Wish me luck.

Exciting news (only in the grand scheme of this exciting life, as of late), I called the cops on someone today. I was in a really bad mood (nicotine withdrawal combined with pms), and I gotta say, it did make me feed a little better. Don't get me wrong, I'd have still called even if I had been in a great mood (I just probably wouldn't have given somebody the finger.) I'm driving down Kenmount Rd. in St. John's, NL at suppertime and this juiceass up ahead, nearly causes an accident by changing lanes in the middle of an intersection with traffic everywhere. Two intersections further he runs a red light. I thought he was impaired. A friend officer of mine has advised of a scary fact with regards to people driving under the influence. It's estimated that 1 in 10 drivers are intoxicated in St. John's, NL. Scary shit. The cops looked into it, and happily, the driver was not drunk. He did however, admit to driving erratically. Apparently dude had just picked up his two cats from the vet after being "fixed" and they were distracting him while he was driving. To be truthful, when the cop called me to give me this answer, it made me mad again. What kind of excuse is that? You think after one almost-accident, one would become more aware of his or her surroundings, especially while operating a 2000+ pound truck. I have two cats. When they travel in the car with me, they are in a kennel. Why? So, they don't distract me when I drive. Goddamn logic prevails in my mind again. Anyways, perhaps this is petty. I've been called that before (of course, it was by an ex, amidst a fight, when discussing the monies owed to me.)

What other exciting things have happened? Hrmmmm. Met a guy. That was short-lived. I don't want to sound like an asshole, but I don't think I could handle being involved with a guy who felt it necessary to drink every time his kids were with their mother. Oh yes, and he had children. Check this out (cause people fucking blow my mind on a regular basis): Dude has an ex-wife and two kids. He WAS paying his ex-wife about $1000/month in child support. They had some sort of agreement amongst themselves where he was going to pay for childcare expenses. Well, she recently got some new job and her work hours changed. Based on her new schedule, the childcare expenses were going to be significantly reduced (like $50/week.) So, what does this brilliant man go and do? Buys a new truck, costing the difference between what he was paying in child support versus the new amount, monthly. I suppose that's alright, as long as the ex keeps her new job. The few times we went out (to places costing more $ that I might have suggested), all his purchases were made on credit. He even told me that his parents thought he was irresponsible, especially with money. He had a truck that worked, it was just smaller. But, everyone needs air conditioned seats, right? Ya, you read that correctly. Air conditioned seats in Newfoundland - brilliant!

I really shouldn't be crapping all over people. But, goddamn, what's wrong with people. I am just really thankful, I'm not dealing with the general public this week. I feel like a giant ball of stress that may explode (or possibly even implode) at any moment. I'm not normally stressed (at least like this). Usually, I can vent and be done with it (hence the point). But, I gotta say the little things are adding up. I need a vacation.