I procrastinate, therefore I am

So, once again, it's the wee hours. I'm awake. Wide awake. Sadly, the city appears to be mighty dry as well. Woe is me. Perhaps this will allow me the time to think about all of the productive things I really should be doing now. Ahhhh, procrastination. Think about doing things, instead of doing.

I remember a time when I was a doer. My, how some things change; but, such is life (at least that what some "people" say.) Somehow my life apparently turned wrong. I went from being an overachiever to...well, I guess an underachiever. Most of my friends have finished their degrees and have moved away. Others are in the process. I sit here, currently technically unemployed pondering the potential versions of myself that once existed. I have this inner craving to change, but change is hard (hence the procrastination). I don't even know why I procrastinate. It's not like most of the time I'm doing things that are overly exciting. Although, almost anything beats washing dishes (especially dishes left to fester for long periods of time...like my first batch of gravy, which wasn't edible...and which is still sitting in the roaster in my kitchen for going on a month now...I know it's rotten....I tut tut tut myself all the time.) So, I'm no housekeeper. I'm well aware of that, as was my mother before me. I remember when she used to try to bribe me to clean my room. "If you don't clean your room, you won't get your allowance" she would say. Manipulation was learned early in my house. It's actually a very useful skill.

I do have a job (just not working there at this exact moment), but I wouldn't necessarily say it's a career for me. The pay is great, but the hours aren't (at least most of the time.) It still beats most other jobs (pay-wise anyways). Basically, I get paid the same or more than most of my friends who work more than me. So, I have a lot of free time. Most people would love that. But I guess I'm just stuck in a rut. At least at work, I have to be productive and interact with others. At this junction in my life, I'm not really obliged to do, well, anything. Hell, I've barely left my house in the last three weeks cause I didn't want to go into the cold. Sure I was warm and I watched an awful lot of media, but I didn't really do anything even worth typing in this blog. I didn't really socialize with anyone, at least not for more than an hour at a time. But, things between me and my normal "friends" are not so normal right now anyways...so to hell with social networking anyways. Back to the job. It's just that - a job. Unless I can get moved to another area...it's just plain old filler for now. But, work will pay for me to pursue my education (or at least finish what's left to this damned degree I started)...so, that's my tentative plan. Stay tuned for tomorrow, when I procrastinate myself outta that plan and into the next (either that or I'll be writing to say something stupid like: "So...me staying up in the wee hours of the night to write blogs about procrastination is an effective means of procrastinating. By staying up late, my body refused to wake up at a reasonable time (translation: during business hours) in order to actually submit my application for university. Yay me!"

Opening Credits

So, this is how it all begins. Ahhh, the illusion of one day being able to clearly remember a starting point. Muwahahaha. How funny is that? A start of what exactly? Perhaps it's the start of my being able to once again actually voice my opinions, concerns, comments and queries without being scrutinized by "friends." I would expect that over time, I'll voice my discontentedness, as well as my contentedness with friends, guys, work and money and issues related to those topics. I would expect to regularly see new pet-peeves added. As long as you don't really know who I am personally, I can tell you all my buttons....but you can't so much push 'em. So, whether you're reading this because you're bored in the wee hours of the night, or looking for ways to piss someone off, I hope you enjoy my rants.