Wednesday, September 15, 2010

So, I sit here thinking about someone. This person, who shall remain nameless, is ummm, well, pissing me off. This person, who is a "friend" almost makes me want to vomit. Sometimes, I think she's right-on, and other times (most of the time), I think she's nothing more than a fucking leech on society. Don't misunderstand me, she does have a job. That's a plus. She's not completely sucking on the government tit. But, I think she's certainly "working" what systems she has available to manipulate.

I ranted previously about a "friend" who cheated on her baby-daddy with my ex (secretly). Oh yes, that ex of mine that forbid me to see his friends. Anyways, apparently the baby-daddy, (or more specifically baby-daddy #2) was cheating on her at the same time. So, they separated (for all of 4.5 months). I think it was the financial situation that led her back to the relationship. He actually loves her. Give her a year, she'll be back to her old ways. When they separated, things got tough financially. He moved out and she bought him out of their home. He wasn't out of the house for 2 months and she had herself financially strapped with new financial obligations - above and beyond her mortgage payment (which had doubled anyways.)

This friend regularly makes long distance calls from her workplace (which is funded by tax dollars) to her family, just to shoot the shit. We've recently gotten involved with a community-type organization, which is funded by the members. As we are new, we have been participating in training, whenever available. This crafty mofo has people writing receipts for childcare services (which they are NOT providing). Why would they do this? Because our group reimburses for childcare expenses when in training. This additional money is going into her pocket. I know we're not in training every day, not even every month; but the point is the same - she is taking away from the group as a whole. My $ is going into her pocket. And, that pisses me off. And so it should, it's theft. She has managed to max out every type of time off work (with pay) that is humanly possible. I don't mean vacations or anything of that nature. I mean booking a whole week worth appointments for your family, where no one is sick. Eye appointment for kid A - Monday morning. Dental appointment for her - Monday afternoon. Tues morning - dental appointment with kid B and so on. She'll use the "I'm sick line" for almost anything - to attend something at the kids' school - to make sure she doesn't lose the pay. And then she tells me about it. I don't have kids - mind you, if I did, I wouldn't use them as an excuse not to work. Especially when baby-daddy #2 has nothing to do (he works two 3 or 4 hour shifts a week - by choice.)

Oh right, I should also add, since she and baby-daddy # 2 have reconciled, they've gotten engaged AGAIN! And she had the gall to ask to me be a bridesmaid. And, they sold their house, rather her house, and bought a new one. A bigger one. One that neither of them can afford, should things not work out - brilliant I say! But then again, that shouldn't really be a factor when buying a house, now should it? Well, these are the things I think about. Terrible I know. I'm a realist. Fuck optimism and pessimism. I hope for the best, expect the worst, and try to be ready for anything in between. I think it's logical. You'll notice that about me, I'm logical. At least, my version of logic.

I feel kinda shitty crapping on this girl. Perhaps I'm being petty (oh, there's that word again) and should let it go. I'd like to. I'd also like to not have to talk to her every single day. I think she realized that today. My face can't hide my lack of interest in people any more. I can't be wasting my smiles. Every now and then, I forget that she's done these shitty things, and we laugh and have fun. Then, I'm reminded of deceit and theft, and I get less friendly. I become short, and snappy. And, I don't like that. I prefer to be my sick and twisted kinda funny (which doesn't get displayed here, cause I'm normally ranting) and can enjoy the company of others.

Another thing that kinda weirds me out...she has a tendency to mimic me. Every now and then I'll make a reference to something I really like (of course I can't think of any specifics as this exact moment) that she's never heard of/tried/listened to etc. and the next thing I know she's coming in either wearing an object of clothing depicting that item or started a group on facebook to talk about how much she loves the item or something else equally retarded and creepy. Perhaps I should be flattered. She has some excellent qualities - but I just can't seem to get over the bad stuff. I'd like to think I'm a grown-up and can think rationally. I have forgiven my ex for being a lying bastard - and we're hanging out again (simply as friends, nothing more - back to the way things were), so it's not like I can't let everything go. One day at a time I guess, just like the smokes.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A punch in the face

So, it's been a while. But, here I am. I can't say life has been dramatic as of late, but then again, I can't really say I've been doing a whole lot.

So, why am I writing today? Hrmmmmm. It's mainly because I don't want to talk to real people. I can't handle people right now. But, there's a reason for that. I'm trying to quit smoking, and I would say at this point, my body is not real impressed with the idea. I thought I'd never say I was addicted, but holy sweet fuck. It's funny, cause I've been thinking about quitting smoking for a while, and what was it that finally pushed me over the edge? A comment from a doctor at a walk-in clinic. So, I went to the walk-in clinic for a totally separate matter (no, it wasn't VD, assholes), and the doc tells me I have a beautiful smile, but my teeth are definitely showing signs of smoking. I am aware of this. I've been aware of this for some time. I'm sure my parents are quite impressed after spending $3500 on braces (in 1992 dollars) and of course countless dollars on dental visits over the years. I just can't justify paying hundreds of dollars to whiten them for the sake of a week. Based on the countless cups of coffee and diet pepsi that keep me going through the day, on top of the cigarettes, I figured what was the point. So, at least I'm making a conscious effort to reduce my intake of cigarettes and caffeine. Wish me luck.

Exciting news (only in the grand scheme of this exciting life, as of late), I called the cops on someone today. I was in a really bad mood (nicotine withdrawal combined with pms), and I gotta say, it did make me feed a little better. Don't get me wrong, I'd have still called even if I had been in a great mood (I just probably wouldn't have given somebody the finger.) I'm driving down Kenmount Rd. in St. John's, NL at suppertime and this juiceass up ahead, nearly causes an accident by changing lanes in the middle of an intersection with traffic everywhere. Two intersections further he runs a red light. I thought he was impaired. A friend officer of mine has advised of a scary fact with regards to people driving under the influence. It's estimated that 1 in 10 drivers are intoxicated in St. John's, NL. Scary shit. The cops looked into it, and happily, the driver was not drunk. He did however, admit to driving erratically. Apparently dude had just picked up his two cats from the vet after being "fixed" and they were distracting him while he was driving. To be truthful, when the cop called me to give me this answer, it made me mad again. What kind of excuse is that? You think after one almost-accident, one would become more aware of his or her surroundings, especially while operating a 2000+ pound truck. I have two cats. When they travel in the car with me, they are in a kennel. Why? So, they don't distract me when I drive. Goddamn logic prevails in my mind again. Anyways, perhaps this is petty. I've been called that before (of course, it was by an ex, amidst a fight, when discussing the monies owed to me.)

What other exciting things have happened? Hrmmmm. Met a guy. That was short-lived. I don't want to sound like an asshole, but I don't think I could handle being involved with a guy who felt it necessary to drink every time his kids were with their mother. Oh yes, and he had children. Check this out (cause people fucking blow my mind on a regular basis): Dude has an ex-wife and two kids. He WAS paying his ex-wife about $1000/month in child support. They had some sort of agreement amongst themselves where he was going to pay for childcare expenses. Well, she recently got some new job and her work hours changed. Based on her new schedule, the childcare expenses were going to be significantly reduced (like $50/week.) So, what does this brilliant man go and do? Buys a new truck, costing the difference between what he was paying in child support versus the new amount, monthly. I suppose that's alright, as long as the ex keeps her new job. The few times we went out (to places costing more $ that I might have suggested), all his purchases were made on credit. He even told me that his parents thought he was irresponsible, especially with money. He had a truck that worked, it was just smaller. But, everyone needs air conditioned seats, right? Ya, you read that correctly. Air conditioned seats in Newfoundland - brilliant!

I really shouldn't be crapping all over people. But, goddamn, what's wrong with people. I am just really thankful, I'm not dealing with the general public this week. I feel like a giant ball of stress that may explode (or possibly even implode) at any moment. I'm not normally stressed (at least like this). Usually, I can vent and be done with it (hence the point). But, I gotta say the little things are adding up. I need a vacation.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Things are starting to look up....of course that could just be my tilted head

I like the concept of karma. What goes around, comes around to a higher level of enlightenment. I don't want to mislead anyone by saying I'm the best person on the face of the planet, and therefore deserve good things....but based on the crap that has ensued over the last while, I think a little bit of balance is certainly in order. And of course, I'm not a total least all the time. So, I think karma took pity on me this week, and tried to right some of her previous wrongs.

So, happily, I am securely employed. Yeah! (Or is it now YAY!?) Regardless, you get the idea. I must admit, the concept of a pension puts me a little more at ease. I like the idea of someday sitting back (or puttering around) at my leisure, doing whatever I want, and not being concerned about how the bills are going to get paid. I have my own plans for financial ventures along the way. I've started this already. I'm not as advanced as perhaps I'd like to be; but, considering some of the roads I've taken in this life, I'm kind of amazed I'm this well adjusted now.

Financial venture plan #1: Real estate. Buy properties and keep them maintained. Real estate hardly ever decreases with time. And, if you're located in an urban area (which I am), finding tenants is easy. Tip: If you can buy in a college/university town, even better. I presently live in St. John's, Newfoundland, where there apparently is a huge housing shortage. I've contemplated renting out a room in my apartment for additional income, but I can't be sure I won't hate the potential tenant. I don't hate all people. I'm not a complete jerk. But, I don't want to be in a situation where my stuff gets stolen (not that I have a whole lot of important stuff), or where I'm woken up at 8am on the weekend by someone else's alarm clock, or as petty as it may be, where I'm the only one in the house who cleans up after themselves. Actually, that's not petty. Not petty at all. I've been in situations like these. I also don't want a situation where the person leaves the heat on when not home, or worse with the window open (like the fucking idiots next door do.) I also enjoy walking around in my underwear.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Russian Crack and Poor Grammar Skills

Hey, it's only a little after midnight, and all appears well. Of course, I'm not long up from a lovely five hour nap. I do love naps. I heart them even. It's actually hard to tell whether or not I was sleep deprived, or if I napped as a result of finally locating a nice puff. Goddamn droughts. Regardless, I feel good. Tomorrow, when I'm napless however, might be a different story. Based on what's been available in this city lately, today's puff might as well have been Russian crack. Who knows, maybe Canadian crack would have been just as sufficient. But, there's something about how Russian crack sounds - way more intense than the friendly Canadian kind. But then again, I'm no crack expert. Did that sound racist? Will all the Canadians hate me? meh meh meh.

So, I've been, Jesus I can't think of the right verb to use here, clichéed as it sounds, surfing the web...mindlessly of course, seeking something remotely interesting to break boredom, and ended up finding someone's blog - with a list of do and don'ts for blogs. Sadly, I read several entries. Sure, there were a couple of good points made. Like bad spelling and poor grammar skills have the ability to make you appear stupid. This is actually something, I've kind of thought about for a while. Lame I know. But alas, it's one of my many character flaws. (I also have a tendency to make ridiculously, politically incorrect comments and throw out saucy one-liners.) Anyhoo, back to looking stupid.

Bad grammar and poor spelling secretly drives me crazy. I'm thinking that I'm blowing it a little out of proportion. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not going to avoid someone for not using the word "epitome" correctly, or spelling "they" as "thay", but it certainly draws my attention. Don't use big words you don't understand, unless you expect to look like an idiot. When communicating electronically, there is virtually no excuse for a spelling mistake with the tools that are available. Google the word, or GOd forbid, get off your lazy ass and pick up a dictionary (or search online, or within your word processing software, or within your search engine). Is everyone lazy? Haha, I say this with a pile of dishes post-nap and absolutely no intention of addressing them this evening. Maybe that's who I need to meet, bad-spellers with clean houses and we can trade tips. I may have just solved the caramel secret folks.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Zippity Do Da

I would normally be inclined to start with something along the lines of "meh", but not so much today. I can't say I'm elated or anything remotely close to it, but at least it's the beginning of a long weekend. Of course, I don't really have any plans for the weekend other than the usual plan for productivity...which usually somehow converts to a cyclic wake-n-bake, nap situation. And, repeat. Happy weekend. But, tomorrow will be different! I will stop procrastinating tomorrow!

I'd like to say I'm not thinking about some unknown asshole musician, but simply that's not true. I'm still hurt by the whole thing, but at least I'm getting a reminder of what the bad times were like. Kinda like this. I think we went for a three month period where we lived together and spoke to each other only once a month. We may, of course yelled or uttered profanities at each other. Meh. Hahaha, the meh just couldn't stay away. Sure, I'm still a little frustrated at myself for allowing myself to be put in such a situation - but what else is new when it comes to that "one". Absolutely nothing! So, at least the potential for such frustration to continue, or God forbid to get worse, is over. So, I guess it's a new beginning. The part that bugs me, is that I didn't get an explanation. You spend three years with someone (through good and very, very, very bad) have a relationship end, in a drunken stupor...and then three years later, one contacts the other, anonymously via text through a new number (go, go pay-as-you-go), multiple times a day, asking about that person's sexual past and thoughts on various sexual activities (for months). Then, they hang out several times over a three month period. And poof, the asshole musician cuts everything off. Severed all contact. I tried texting. I tried calling. I emailed. Nothing. Not knowing why is the worst part. Based on our initial relationship, I can't say I had high hopes for a prospective future with him - but he was always the one who said that if for some reason we stopped being together romantically, that he wanted to remain friends. I always said that would never happen. Honestly, I can't really say that I was anticipating maintaining a close friendship either. I'm also not saying I'm owed anything whatsoever (except maybe my youth - lol), but I guess I just expected more. And that's sad. Cause I really don't have high expectations for very many people. I guess I just thought he would approach the situation as cautiously as possible, for both our sakes. I was wrong. I really should do something a little more social this weekend. That way, I will find myself talking and thinking about other things - with better company (at least company that treats me better.)

And of course there are lots of options for the weekend. At this point, I'm way too fucking tired to do anything. Passed on downtown, and passed on poker. Instead, I site here a semi-dedicated (and admittedly a lil baked) blogger, providing nothing but babble - for all the world. Christ, I still ended up blogging almost completely about a subject I was hoping to avoid. Better luck next time for me. It's time to get my circular plan underway now, as opposed to I can be productive tomorrow. *wink wink*

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Late Nite Thoughts

So, I'm sitting here (yes, still awake), and slightly calmer than earlier (technically yesterday's post...that is of course assuming that google has my time zone registered somewhere (which it probably does). I'm not quite sure what cause me to vent my little vent earlier, but at least now my head is a little clearer. I still don't like the idea of being fucked around and then ignored, but I can't let it overtake my life. Being sick and stuck in the house for the last week or so hasn't helped. When I was awake I did nothing but stream media and play internet games. Mind you, I didn't have a whole lot of energy, nor a voice for a couple of days. And, we cannot forget the phlegm funnel. Meh, enough of that. Still sick and still kinda bummed. Perhaps that's to be expected in the wee hours, when one has a pounding headache and chest congestion.


Once upon a time, there was a musician who like to get bent. This musician got so bent then he lost his mind. He made stupid decisions, as was a common theme in his life, to put his own everything ahead of that of others. And yes, this applies to virtually every aspect of life. Should I go out? Hrmmm. Where would I go? Who would I get the bentest with? Yes, that is who I will hang out with (and by hang out, I mean get high as a motherfucking kite and sit on someone's couch until someone is willing to cart the bentest of all, to wherever the bentest will be most satified next. And, by most satisfied next, I actually me where the bentest get get the most out of each person visited (generally, who's got the goods...cause it sure as heel isn't this guy.)

The bent one, who has never been straight a day in his long and uneventful (yet incredibly high life), and chooses to bring others into the vortex of insanity. Guaranteed, within 2.5 years (as an absolute maximum), the bent one will burn bridges with other bendees. But the thing about bendees, they get so bent out of shape....they forget things. Like the bentest one of all is a using motherfucker who ignores people for no reason - other than the bentest has better options Translation: Somebody wants to get high(er). Maybe the bentest - who I should add, is a TOTAL ASSHOLE really has things figured out.

Get bent that's fine...but for the love of God man, leave me out of it. You crazy bastard.